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The Irreverent Smoothie

Picture3With the dawning of a New Year one makes all sorts of proclamations after the indulgences of the holidays. You might have been good up till now, or like me, could have promised yourself no booze, sweets or gluten for ALL of January, but a glass of red wine here or a Thin Mint there led to a slippery slope, especially after this past weekend. What is it about inclement weather that makes one imbibe calories as though one will not receive sustenance until the spring thaw? A remnant from our evolutionary past perhaps?

Recently leafing through a SELF magazine looking at all the exercises I will never do and reading all the health tips I will never follow I stumbled upon recipes for “Smoothie Bowls.” Seriously? Looks like a bowl of fruit to me. What is it with all this Smoothie craze? Why must we juice and blend perfectly good fruits and vegetables in order to “cleanse” and “eat happy.” Growing up a smoothie was a drink you got at the mall and tasted like a melted creamsicle. If I see one more fresh faced 20 something telling me how A-MAZE-ing they feel after drinking some blended lawn clippings I am going to freak out.

Our library system has something like 200,000 (am not exaggerating, well, maybe a little) smoothie cookbooks because it seems it is very complicated to throw things in a blender and press start. There are also quite a few devoted to Green Juice? What is that exactly? A blended salad? No thanks! I would rather have mine in a bowl nestling a coddled egg and tossed with some pieces of nice fatty bacon (Lardon if you want to get all fancy and French about it). I seriously think people believe that if they blend it, regardless of what it is, it is healthier. No – it is just easier to ingest. No teeth or utensils needed.

OK after all this ranting I have a confession- I make one every morning – only as a vehicle for the protein powder I drink after I exercise. I devised my own recipe that tastes like melted Neapolitan ice cream. And yes, I’ll admit it. I do add organic strawberries which have now doubled in price due to recent flooding so I guess my kid’s won’t be going to college. BUT the difference between me and all the smoothie swilling, starry-eyed green juicers out there…. I drink mine ironically.